Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Warning: Some people may find offensive.......or why I love email

Previously today, my friend said:
"Heard on (name withheld) support line Sunday night:
" 'All of our operators are helping other customers. Your call is very important to us. It's easier to reach our associates from nine to five, Monday through Friday. If you don't want to wait, you may prefer to hang up and call back during those times.' "
"Hold on", my friend says. "If I don't want to wait a few MINUTES, I should wait for more than 12 HOURS and call them again? That doesn't make any sense!"

Me:

"no no no no no,

'Wait', in this case, is a destination. It's that sucking hole of desolation in the murky dark recesses of Telephone Damnation that you are pitched into head-first to nurse your lurking feeling of total rejection and where that slimey little demon hiding at the back of your head finally sees his opportunity to skewer into your subconscious thoughts like: I know my mother really didn't love me. My sister was right, I am a butt pustule. My life means nuuuuuuthing.

Or (insert perkey voice here) You can hang up."

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